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20130801
20130831
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COM 80
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Search Results 0 to 49 of about 80 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Aug 15, 2013 11:30pm PDT
. and tonight i'm proud to say we have the latest on the gripping story of the rodeo clown who put on an obama mask. (laughter) yes, i'm sure you all know. some said the media would be thrown off this rodeo story in a second. (laughter) but nobody, nobody rides this kind of bull like the heroes of cable news. jim? >> from the state fair asked the crowd if they wanted to see a rodeo clown with an obama mask run down by a bull. another clown playing with the obama mask slips. >> a rodeo clown who performed during the missouri state fair while wearing a mask of president obama has been banned from performing at the missouri state fare ever again. >> the missouri rodeo cowboy association president, he also resigned in the midst of this clown fallout. >> there is some new fallout over this whole rodeo clown issue. the rodeo announcer at the event now stepping down as president of missouri's rodeo cowboy association has all of this gone way too far? >> stephen: oh, it's gone way too far. the clown's been fired. the announcer resigned. the cowboy association's president has resigned. and countless bu
Comedy Central
Aug 14, 2013 11:30pm PDT
obama loves big government. need proof? in 1790 the federal government had power over 13 states. under obama? 50. and surprise, surprise, the last one is hawaii. from there much? well, brace yourself, folks. obama is at it again. >> a seemingly well intentioned government initiative is raising some serious questions about big brother. the federal government is now hiring behavioral experts to look for ways to influence americans' behavior. >> stephen: that's right. the white house is hiring behavioral experts. and this time it's not to get joe biden to stop drinking out of the toilet. see, the administration is trying out a psychology trick called a nudge which encourages behavior subtly rather than outright requires it. now a nudge is is not to be confused with someone forcing you to do something at gun point. that's called a nuge. and like all of obama's ideas, folks, he got this one from our enemies in europe. for instance, in amsterdam's skip-ole international airport management painted pictures of house flies on the urinals in the men's room and the quantity of misdirected urine i
Comedy Central
Aug 16, 2013 1:35am PDT
clown with an obama mask run down by a bull. another clown playing with the obama mask slips. >> a rodeo clown who performed during the missouri state fair while wearing a mask of president obama has been banned from performing at the missouri state fare ever again. >> the missouri rodeo cowboy association president, he also resigned in the midst of this clown fallout. >> there is some new fallout over this whole rodeo clown issue. the rodeo announcer at the event now stepping down as president of missouri's rodeo cowboy association has all of this gone way too far? >> stephen: oh, it's gone way too far. the clown's been fired. the announcer resigned. the cowboy association's president has resigned. and countless bulls have been jabbed in the gonads with electric cattle products. excuse me, i'm being told that last thing is just part of the entertainment, carry on. and folks, this story goes beyond the giant power vacuum atop missouri's rodeo cowboy association. it's much ado about nothing. and nobody adoes nothing like fox news dana perino. jim. >> rodeos, every president is always made
Comedy Central
Aug 5, 2013 11:00pm PDT
. but the obama administration is already gearing up for battle. >> the obama administration today challenged voting laws it says discriminate on the basis of race. attorney general eric holder made the announcement in philadelphia pledging to focus first on texas within texas first, okay. apparently eric hold certificate apparent-- approaching voter rights protection like we his first day in prison. look, i'm going find the biggest-- there and beat the [bleep] out of him. i'm sending a message here. the other states will fall in line. (applause) but look, look, i've got to say what has texas done to deserve that? >> literally two hours after the court's ruling, texas official said they would begin enforcing a new voter requirement even though a federal court struck down the law because it quote imposes strict unforgiving burdens on the poor and racial minorities in texas. >> come on, texas. what were you doing for two whole hours? did it take you that long to make the call because your hand was shaking too much from the excitement of being able to disenfranchise voters? and let's be clear. t
Comedy Central
Aug 5, 2013 9:00am PDT
it. >> john: john boehner and president obama agree on something. the only other things they've ever agreed on were, one, estimation you need a good cry. two, michael keaton is is a best batman and three, brazil nuts are nothing more than packing material for all the other nuts in the mix. so they got a four. nothing shows though just how weird these coalitions have become than the fact that the president also ended up on the same side as this person. >> the federal government is taking in the content of american phone calls. it's not true. it's not happening. we need to deal in facts. let's deal in reality, not in false narratives. >> john: yes, yes. wait, wait. you're jumping ahead. you heard kroactly. michelle bachman just argued what we shouldn't deal in false narratives. for example, the false narrative that says michelle bachman doesn't deal in false narratives. >> the president of the united states will be taking a trip over to india that is is expected to cost the tax payer dlz 200 million a day. her little daughter took that vaccine, that injection and she suffered from ment
Comedy Central
Aug 5, 2013 9:30am PDT
a 16th bill but obama refused to sign hr-2904, the "this is not another repeal of obama care, we swear but don't look inside it, just sign it" act. but you can't blame congress for how little they get done. taking a position on anything is political suicide. just look at senate minority leader mitch mcconnell. he's the most obstructionist, bill-blockin'est human law-cork ever to jam up the hauls of congress using the filibuster 413 times since 2007, twice as much as the last democratic minority which earned him the nickname "senator gridlock." yeah, good olsen tore gridlock, the kentucky constipator, the louisville plugger. but even the leader of the do-nothing congress is is now being punished for the handful of times he done did something. >> mitch mcconnell is getting primaried hard. an open letter, this is incredible to me, from 15 kentucky tea party groups said senator mcconnell's progressive, liberal voting record and his willingness to roll over and cede power to president obama and the liberals in washington prove he is no friend to the american people or the citizens of the co
Comedy Central
Aug 7, 2013 11:00pm PDT
freeze. president obama has officially canceled his one-on-one meeting with vladimir putin. >> john: canceled? wow, that's a big diplomatic slap in the face, a dip move, if you will. ( laughter ) although if the president really wanted to hurt putin he would have said he was coming and just stood him up. trust me, that hurts a lot more. or if you wanted to be more passive aggressive the president could have said let's meet somewhere that's not technically in russia like, i don't know, moscow airport. ( cheers and applause ) look, we all know-- we all know why this meeting was canceled, right. >> president obama formally canceled next month's meeting in moscow with russia's president vladimir putin. why? >> missile defense, human rights, that controversial law there that bans gay relationships and a lot of concern about how it's going to impact the olympics in sochi. >> john: oh, that's right because russia will not allow a hint of homoswullity in an event where you either win a skin-tight leotard or sparkly tuxedo for your ice ballet. come on, come on, now. is there nothing else tha
Comedy Central
Aug 14, 2013 11:00pm PDT
, john. now, look at jeff bezos' rag from this morning. obama pushes internet proposal. (snoring) factual, boring. but my readers with the same story will have their choice of three personalized headlines. first, obama empowers proceed lee tear yat with wi-fi. or black hitler wastes tax payer money... again. or obama can have internet? >> john: i have to jump in here, i don't know. look, i am no expert in business. >> as your shabby screams to my terrified eyes. >> john: but won't printing's three editions of paper triple your costs. >> yes, john, but i'll make up for it by double-tripling my advertising. >> john: how is that possible, hodgman? newspaper advertising has fallen 50% in the last decade. >> my newspaper is going to take a cue from cutting edge technology such as radio and reality television by using product placement. now let's see how scoop bezos reports the international news. russian president putin today affirmed his support for the syrian government. nice word bezos. you just missed a huge revenue stream. russian president putin today affirmed his support for syria's gov
Comedy Central
Aug 8, 2013 11:00pm PDT
they deserve magical, majestic consensual sex with unicorns. and you know what, to his credit, president obama has made it clear that will not tolerate sexual assault. >> we find out somebody is engaging in this stuff, they have got to be held accountable. prosecuted, stripped of their positions, court-martialed, fired, dishonorably discharged, period. >> well said. well said. period. personally, i also would have gone with an exclamation point after that period. maybe an ellipsis to create suspense and frowny emoticon but we basically agree. we basically agree. this is clearly a good thing. statements this strong from the command never chief can only bring the problem to a quicker resolution with absolutely no unintended consequences. >> a military judge whose hearing a pair of sexual assault cases says he's been hamstrung by statements from president obama because what he calls unlawful command influence. >> the impact of president obama's comments about sexual assault, saying they should be prosecuted, stripped of their positioned, court-martialed, fired and dishonorably discharged and ther
Comedy Central
Jul 31, 2013 11:00pm PDT
at the state level are increasingly frustrated with what they say is an over-reach by the obama administration. >> we know what is best for us here in kentucky, and we don't want to be dictated to by washington, d.c. >> for kentucky state senator damen thayer, the feds have gone too far. >> the left wing liberals in washington, d.c. think they know what's best. they hut guns. they hade haight law-abiding citizens who want to buy guns, and we fear that there will be federal gun laws that actually take away what we believe is our second amendment right to keep and bear arms. >> other than that premise being completely false, what message did you send to d.c.? the senate passed a bill that would have nullified any new federal gun law passed after january 1. >> he's talking about nullification. an age-old legislative tactic where states pass specific laws exempting themselves from federal laws. it's a flawless political technique that dozens of embracing, despite fact the supreme court made nullification laws illegal on several occasions, but that is not the point. >> barack obama lost kentucky in
Comedy Central
Jul 31, 2013 11:30pm PDT
, yesterday president obama gave a major about the economy at an amazon distribution center. i think he chose amazon because they're going to start equipping congressmen with a "buy now" button. i wasn't really paying that much attention to the speech because today's president is yesterday's news. particularly if you're watching a rerun of this show. now, like every other journalist, i want to know what will happen in 2016. well, yesterday we got our first clue when hillary clinton stopped by the white house. >> she spent about two hours in the white house. the question is, what did they talk about? >> could it have some inkling of what could take place in 2016? >> just lunch or is it campaign 2016 just getting started? why president obama and hillary rodham clinton having a private lunch today at the white house. >> stephen: the white house! at the (sing song n) white house. what could it mean? ping, ping. we don't know. but a total absence of facts has never stopped cable news before. remember, we're the ones who broke the story that the royal baby was either a boy or a girl. and we were ri
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 80 (some duplicates have been removed)